A few years ago, I first heard the saying:
“Smash that plate on the floor. Now say sorry. Does it fix it?”
It appealed to me quite a bit.
I find too many people throw around the word sorry without ever actually being sorry, or even if they are, they do not change their behaviour/actions to reflect their alleged sorrow.
To continue the saying/analogy:
You break someone’s plate. It doesn’t matter if it is an accident or not, ultimately it is your fault and responsibility.
You say sorry, probably more out of habit than anything else, and that is good. It is the first step.
What comes next is far more important.
- You clear up the mess of the plate.
- You make note to (and actually) be more careful in the future.
- You offer to replace the plate, and even if you say no you could still replace it.
If you keep breaking someone’s plates and all you have to offer is “sorry” then eventually you will stop being asked to dinner.
The same can be said about anything else. You frequently let someone down, and all you have to offer them each time is “sorry” eventually they are going to stop communicating with you (or at the very least asking you to events/asking for help).
Tell someone you love them, but your actions only seem to be governed by selfishness and self-interest eventually they will stop believing you. This could eventually lead to them falling out of love with you.
Both action and inaction speak greatly to us. Words mean nothing when they are filled with apologies and empty promises.
Be Excellent To Each Other
Bill and Ted said it best, “Be excellent to each other”.
This sentiment can be found in many religions too, but often not as a top priority “commandment” as it should be.
Christianity have their “Love thy neighbour”, and if you apply neighbour to every human you meet, and treat them all with love then the world will be filled with love and kindness.
Even the pagan religions have ” ‘An harm none, do what thou wilt” which essentially means as long as you are not hurting anyone, do what you like. Inaction can hurt people, but I will come to that later.
“I’ll Pray for you”
When people say “I’ll pray for you” they are doing the exact same thing as those that say sorry.
Praying for someone does even less than saying you are sorry.
It is great that you have someone in your thoughts, but rather than doing something to help them you are essentially wishing them well.
If you subscribe to a religion where your God has a plan, and works in mysterious ways… as well as being all powerful and all knowing… what makes you think he will change his plan for you? “pretty please with a cherry on top Mr god sir, fix this persons leg”.
How about you get off your arse and help them? You can still pray at the same time if it makes you feel better, but your actions will be seen and evidenced in the real world. The person you are helping will feel better just knowing you are there for them. The state of mind a person is in could affect how well they heal, if you consider the placebo effect.
Prayer is literally the least you can do, whilst fooling yourself that you are doing something to help.
I’m not saying prayer is a bad thing. Prayers, well wishes, positive thoughts are all well and good, but if the person they are for feels alone and helpless they are completely redundant.
Actions speak louder than words.
Actions fill empty words with meaning.
Act now, make someone happy.
I’m Joe. I write under the name Davidian, not only because it is a Machine Head song I enjoy but because it was a game character I used to role-play that was always looking to better himself.
This is one of many things I hope to do with Answers In Reason.
I run our Twitter and IG accounts, as well as share responsibility for our FB group and page, and maintain the site, whilst writing articles, DJing, Podcasting (and producing), keeping fit and more.
Feel free to read a more detailed bio here: https://www.answers-in-reason.com/about/authors/4/
You can find my main social links here:
TikTok (AiR): https://www.tiktok.com/@answersinreason
TikTok (ADHD): https://www.tiktok.com/@adultadhdjourney
Ask me a question on Wisdom: https://app.wisdom.audio/ask/0be23c32-0fac-4d8f-bf68-671d9c8a3b95
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